Arithmetic For Playas Pt. 1

So I'm broke. But even broke people get hungry.

So I went to Taco Bell yesterday for three Soft Taco supremes.

I took with me three singles, four quarters and about eight dimes.

Playas let's do the math: that's $4.80.

Ordered my food, got to the window and the woman says $5.43. And I'll admit I was shocked. Thought I had spent $4.50 max. Didn't do the math.

Golden Lesson #1: When you're broke, always do the math.

Not knowing what to do, I looked from the cashier over to the lovely young lady with me and felt a tidal wave of embarassment settin in. And as I began to count my dimes nervously, I could feel the cashier glaring at me, as if to say...i can't believe this shit, this broke ass n*gg* in a tuxedo and a BMW...

Now playas what should I do:

a) cuss her out for messin' up my order and then order something MUCH cheaper

b) throw some quarters at her and drive off, saying "Bitch, I dont want no food noway!"

c) put on my George Bush mask, grab the AK out the trunk and rob Taco Bell (I can hear them on the phone with the cops after I left: "No officer it was George Bush in a tuxedo- with an AK!")

d) write a check I know will bounce

e) all of the above

--c. lightning

Labels: Arithmetic For Playas, How Rock Stars Survive When Folks Refuse to Buy Music, Life is Too Short, SouthernPlayalistic Livin'

So yeah, I have been very puzzled over the last few days, as to what the hell these tiny bumps are on my face. I have been taking benedryl, drinking lots of water, using Proactiv, and staring at myself in the mirror, relentlessly. I thought I had adult acne (nothing wrong with it), an allergic reaction, poison ivy, and poison oak. I searched all over the internet, including webMD (helpful site by the way), looking for answers! And still, no answers.

Then today, my good friend and guitarist, Kellis Parker (one of THE best around) examined my face and said, "Those look like heat bumps." Then another incredible talent, Chuck Lightning (yeah THE Chuck Lightning on this site) looked at me like a grandfather would his old car and said, "Oh yeah, you got heat bumps."

So, I just stood there waiting for one of them to tell me to do this or do that in order to get rid of the little buddies, and to my surprise, what do ya' know, they had no suggestions, solutions, no FREAKING answers! No answers.:-( I am stuck with about 50 heat bumps all over my face.

So people, your "Hero" has heat bumps.

I know this may sound weird, but in a sense, I am glad to have these bumps. I really had to put my life in perspective. I really had to ask myself, if beauty on the outside isn't all that important to me, why am I uncomfortable with people looking at my face again? I missed a going away party last Friday because of this! Why was I that concerned with my outer appearance again, if I strive to be a more beautiful person on the inside? Great question. I am confused with all this.

Everything happens for a reason, I suppose. I guess heat bumps aren't so bad after all. Every now and again, we all need a reality check. Heat bumps for you my friend?:-)

Jane.

So I know some of you have been worried about Metropolis. Worried that Metropolis will become Chinese Democracy, devolve into creative chaos and other woes. Worried that Wondaland will screw it up. That we're going to create something that only a few Star Wars geeks can understand. Or let it become a black rock beast, you know, something you'd love at home with your afropunk friends but never hear on the radio. And then there's the biggest travesty of it all: What if it never comes out?

Well rest ye weary souls. Here's a little concrete information about the release to put your heart at ease.

• Metropolis will be released quarterly in four suites. Each suite will be a mini-album complete with collectible ephemera (stickers, posters, oh boy!). Each suite will be numbered and limited edition.
  

• The first single "Violet Stars Happy Hunting" will be released on June 1, 2007. The first suite of Metropolis (Suite I: The Chase) will be released on Auguest 1, 2007. Look for the first JM video to come your way in late July (more details on that later).

• The full album Metropolis will be released next year. The album will contain all kinds of goodies: bonus tracks, live tracks, videos, etc.

• In terms of major distribution, we've been in talks with a few majors here and overseas. We'll keep you posted how those thangs go. In case you haven't heard, there's a lot of problems in the music industry right now. Superstars can't buy a hit. And they just turned the historic Capitol building into condos. Getting a major record deal right now is a little like getting invited to a five course meal on the Titanic...
  

• The suites will be distributed through iTunes, Amazon, MySpace and BlabStar. If you don't have a BlabStar account, and if you've never heard of it, you know nothing about the future of music. And that is something to worry about.

• The album is the debut release of a new label that is a joint venture between Wondaland Productions and Big Boi. The name of this label is the Wondaland Arts Society. The WAS is the home of the Wonderground, a collective consisting of JM and Deep Cotton.

• In addition, the WAS will be collaborating with Purple Ribbon and the Atlanta Ballet Company to convert Metropolis into a rock opera/ballet. We are still putting the finals and particulars together. And we're beginning the creative process this summer. But the performances are already booked: April 10-13, 2008 at the Fox Theatre. So get ready to see JM on stage singing her heart out in the midst of twenty moonwalking androids!

See, now don't you feel better? Here, if that didn't help. Perhaps this will. I'm waiting for Chinese Democracy just like you. Damnit, Axl, just release the damn thang.



--c.lightning

Labels: Entertainment Industry Bullsh*t, Janelle Monae, Metropolis

The war of the 80's continues...

Remember when Prince threw that monkey in an electric chair in the "Partyman" video.

yeah, that was Bubbles.

and, yeah, MJ was mad Prince refused to get on "We Are the World."

Prince did submit his own song to the album, but damn...Prince it's for the kids!!

Well, anywhoo, at last here's the real deal about the "Bad" controversy... LOL

--c.lightning

Labels: Who's Bad?

Good Morning... Twilight?! So yeah, my sleeping habits are a bit off. Since I have been sick, I have been taking naps during the day and unable to go to bed at my usual time, which is ummm about... 4:30, 5 ish in the a.m.

I stayed up all yesterday, patiently waiting for one of my FAVORITE TV shows, "Lost". One thing you should know about me is, I am a HUGE fan of "Heroes", "24", and "Lost". Tonight was "Lost"'s season finale and I was so sad. :-( It will not be coming back on til' like next Feb.! What a drag?!!! I don't have time to be waiting that long MAN! It was so good though, they made it two hours instead of just one. The ending was scary. If you are interested in knowing more about the show, visit www.abc.com., itunes has all the episodes as well. You will be hooked. Ben, where you at! He is the villain, one of the "others."

I'll assume that because it turned out to be a hit show for NBC (enough for them to create 3 spinoffs next season) that at least 25% of you watch Heroes... I've been taken in by it as well. Something very visceral strikes me about the show. Their season finale was on Monday. I was a tad bit disappointed by the ending. Anyway, at least until next season when the show comes on, real life auditions for heroes are being held every day. Watching "Heroes" has also made me really, really want to turn "Metropolis" into a series. Let me talk to my sources...

Anyhowwow, can't sleep. I think I am gonna try and watch some CNN, see what's going own in the world, and what I can do to help it.

Spaghetti should never be made with Ragu and should always include Italian seasoning and oregano. If someone per chance tries to pass something off to you as spaghetti just because it has noodles and a ruddy sauce, do not be fooled. It may in fact be ketchup and noodles, which is not a dish but would be better described as a "project."
This won't get read, so I'm not apologizing or being sensitive.

Labels: heinz, ketchup, spaghetti, wondalunch was bad

Yeah, so I am officially sick. Literally, I feel like crap. All this happened within less than 24 hours. It totally SUCKS. My body aches, my glands feel swollen, my head is aching only on one side, my nose is running, jut a mess. I really hate getting sick as I know the rest of you probably do as well. I believe it could have come from my cousin BRITTANY (I am telling on you), Roman, or swimming when it wasn't that hot out or just good ole' germs from the world. Thank God I don't have any gigs this week.

I remember I had to perform when I had the flu for the BIG BOI PRESENTS...GOT PURP?: Vol. 2 album release party at Club 1150. Everybody was there too, Cee-lo, Jazzy Pha, Puffy or Diddy, Dallas Austin, just a lot of people in the music industry from Atlanta, a huge crowd, and I thought I was gonna completely pass out on stage. I had to perform "Lettin' Go!" and that song requires a lot of energy to pull off. But, I was kinda proud of myself, I believe that was prob. one of my best performances of "Lettin'g GO!" to date. I was so scared I was gone mess up, I started thinking like a super-hero who is trying to save a little boy from getting hit by a car. There was no other option, but to SAVE that little freckled faced boy! God was with me though.

Anywho, I went to The Roots concert at Fever last night and had the pleasure of meeting ?uestlove. He is really a great person. I got that from him within the first 10 seconds. You can totally tell that he has not lost himself while being apart of a very successful band all these years or the music industry. It really lets me know that there are still genuinely cool people making music and that you totally don't have to act like a divo or diva to get respect. Just BE...


Well, I have to eat now.

Last night we were talking about the new Lauryn Hill song "Lose Myself."

If you haven't heard it, go here href="http://www.zshare.net/audio/lose-myself-mp3-e8k.html
with a quickness.

And MitchOWski asked us a question that shouldn't have been difficult at all:

When's the last time you really LOVED a song?

Silence, silence, silence.

Janell Monae: Declare Independence by Bjork.

Silence, silence, silence.

Chuck Lightning: Silence. (although after reflection, i can say now that i simply love yes truly LOVE "article 3" off Me'shell n'dgeocello's new EP. and i agree with JM that Bjork's new album has some incredible songs, "declare independence" among them...)

Nate Wonder: Silence. Then "what do you mean by love?"

Mitch: I mean, love like, how you know, the way you love old albums or some crazy song from back in the day that you discover?

Nate Wonder: Is loving an old album truly love? Or is that just romanticism? And the fact that no one is up on it and it's not gonna be mainstream and overexposed within a few hours?

Wow.

Which leads to a larger question: Do technology and commerce kill the beauty in art?

In other words, will we like Lauryn's gorgeous new song a little less when it's all over the place? Like part of some gigantic Happy Meal.

And is the exponential rise of our access to the world's great treasure trove of music online actually decreasing our ability to be inspired by any one given thing?

making it harder and harder to fall in love...

--c. lightning

Whew Lightning.

Guess you had one of those schizo moments in those last two posts. Now back to level for you.

For all of you who don't know, Dr. Lightning is ... a fire starter. Almost always a welcome and necessary thing when we're in the studio due mostly to the fact that we create Emotion Pictures. Anger and Madness usually find their way onto the plate somehow... :-)

Anyway, it's been quite a productive week here at the WAS. Plenty of long nights as Jane mentioned in her blog. Anyway... I'm just stoppin' thru to let people know that all of the posts won't begin with the word "shit".

Shit...is a lil too tidy up in here.

Dont get thangs twisted.

What you need to know about Wondaland.

is that we dont give a fuck.

WE ARE THE MATRIX THE TWISTED FUTURE THE FACTORY THE NIGGERATI THE CYBORG MANIFESTO DEATH ROW IN TUXEDOS

period.

We dont give a fuck about you robots and your lil ass programmed ideas about culture and music and videos that ol smack that ass shit fuck you we give a fuck about all you posers fakers hatas wanna be HNIC muthafuckas fuck you too we give a fuck about dopeheads go read a book wake up get up get out get something--

dont shut me up homes i've got somethun to say i'm just doin what i do-

i hate you and everythng you stand for and i have come to officially end
your sunny days.

i'm sick n tired of the punk police tryin to talk about about the lyrics
to these damn songs, about having a concept, a story, something beyond getting money, getting ass, or getting high.

i'm sick n tired of the punk police talkin bout my tux, JM's hair, how the guitar is too loud and the drum machine too low FUCK YOU too

we can handle this like men or this wookie by my side will handle it like
it's some gangsta shit.

if you havent seen Metropolis, El Topo, or Space IS the Place, read the Autobiography of Malcolm X, The Invisble Man, or anything without glossy celeb photos, heard MAGGOT BRAIN, Forever Changes and There's a Riot Going on...just know I HATE YOU, you will not be on this ark and your judgement is upon u.

This is THE GOOD TEAM and you're in a bad, bad place.

Know that we're recording a song called SOULBREAKER and it's all about u. The vultures come included.

I, Lee Perry, George Clinton, Sun Ra and Greg Tate are working out your sentence as we speak.

before i leave the village. i take my sword. i carve my name in the sand. chUck lightNing. b*TCHeS.

How to Change the World in Three Minutes and 30 Seconds Flat:

About Us:

We at Wondaland are inventors. We wear tuxedos everyday. We jump in pools during performances. We wear Civil War hats and rock vintage Jordans. We believe truth can be broken down with the following formula: Truth= Love x Imagination.

We believe songs are spaceships. We believe music is the weapon of the future. We believe books are stars.

We believe there are only three forms of music: good music, bad music and funk.

About Wondaland:

We have created our own state, our own republic. There is grass here. Grass sprouts from toilet seats, bookshelves, ceilings and floors. Grass makes us feel good. In this state, there are no laws, there is only music. Funk rules the spirit. And punk rules the courtrooms and marketplace. Period.

In this state, there is no food. We eat books and season them with wine and cotton candy. When you want the news, you read a comic book.

There is also Love. Sex. Wisdom. Magic and Wonder. These things add up to something new and ancient that we call WISM. WISM makes us feel good. Who needs drugs when you've got WISM?

About Gender:

We believe women are much smarter than men. And strive to act accordingly.

About Cities:

We have built several cities. We are always looking for a new city to live in. We have recently moved from Atlantis to Metropolis, a city of our own design. It's the largest city in the world, but you can only see it by closing your eyes.

About Technology

We are watching Steve Jobs the way Berry Gordy watched Henry Ford. We believe in Moore's Law, in time pacing, in micro-chunking, in nanofying, in monetizing, optimizing everything, and shipping products. We're like a cross between Guy Kawasaki and James Brown.